April...Already? Happy Easter!

Wow, April already...Actually, almost a week into April already! You know it seems like I just started the semester yesterday, but in reality, we're well over half way done! My last class ends May 17th, which is incredible, exciting, and kind of scary! Time is really flying by, especially lately. I guess that's what nursing school does to you, it keeps you too busy to be bored and to notice the time. I know I haven't blogged as much as I would like to since the beginning of this semester, but alas here I am. That silly persistent insomnia has struck again. I don't know what's going on lately, but for some reason these past couple weeks I haven't been able to sleep very well, but it's not bothering me too much (yet)! School and work is going well. For those of you who don't know, I have been working as a nursing tutor since lately January, and I absolutely love my job. There aren't many hours, and the pay sucks, but it's fun, it's a little extra cash, and it will look great on a resume! I've finally gotten "in" with the teachers I work with, which is awesome. They treat me special, which is cool. What I mean by that is, they will take the time to explain things to me, or to talk, or to help me with homework. They even include me on workplace gossip! Talk about being "in!" I do love my job, in many ways. That's what has solidified my third dream...to become a nurse educator (which is just a fancy term for a nursing teacher). And I can see your eyes looking around and you saying "third dream?" Well, I have three main dreams...one I have already reached (becoming a LPN) my second dream is to finish the RN program and get my RN license. Third is to get my masters degree in nursing, and get a job at a tech college or university as a teacher. See? Makes sense don't it? :) Anyway, not too much has been going on here lately. School and work keep me busy most of the time, and lately in my "free time," what little I have of it, I've been getting back into drawing, writing, and playing my trumpet. My mom got me a beautiful blue trumpet as a graduation present (blue is my favorite color), which for me is probably one of the best presents I've ever got(or could ever get)! I was in band for a long time, but we always did the renting thing; never could afford to get a trumpet until I found a site on ebay that sells instruments in bulk. So for just $110 (and free shipping) I got my trumpet, a carrying case, a polishing cloth, a pair of white gloves, valve oil, and a digital metronome/tuner. It was an amazing deal let me tell you! Anyway, back to what I've been doing in my "free time." Here's a couple pictures I drew using my mouse and Paint Shop Pro 7.



So, what do you think? I love drawing a lot, and everything I've learned (both pencil sketches and computer/editing/animation) I've taught myself. I love the way things look when they're digitally drawn, but when you have to do it with a mouse... PITA...PAIN-IN-THE-ASS!!!! That's why I'm going to start saving up for a Wacom tablet. YAY for Wacom tablets! Below is a video of a little cartoon animation I made.

This one isn't anything too special or spectacular, but it still turned out pretty good, and it's cute! Well I suppose, it just turned 11:00 PM and I have class in the morning, so I should probably hit the hay! Good night all and hope you all had a Happy Easter!

Half Way There!

Half way there! What I mean is, I'm officially an LPN now! I can still hardly believe it. I took the LPN boards on Friday the 19th and was CONVINCED I had failed. The test sucked. It was so hard, but again to my surprise I pulled it off and got the results yesterday that I passed! YAYYYYYYYY!!!! I've never felt so good about myself in my entire life. To reach a dream is an amazing feeling that I've never felt before. I've never had to work so hard in my life to reach a goal-ever! Not like I have to become a nurse. And I've finally made it. :) I'm in my third semester of the RN program, and it's going pretty good. We just got done with spring break and the weather was incredible. Then mom and I drove down to Milwaukee because that's where I had to take the LPN boards. Quite an interesting process they have to buzz you into the testing room. Fingerprinting, palm vein scanning, photographing, two body searches. EEKS! I felt like I was going to prison...or joining the FBI! You have five hours to take the test, but I finished mine in an hour and a half! That pretty much freaked me out right away, and the actual test itself was really difficult. I still can't believe I'm officially a nurse! :D I definitely owe a lot of my success to my parents who never gave up on me and always had faith in me. It makes me feel honored to have been able to succeed, for them and for myself! Now to find a job! I have to wait a month until my license comes in the mail, but that's alright. I'm not in a hurry anymore! :D We're half way done with this semester, and I dropped down to 3/4 time, so that set me back a semester, but it's all good. I'm officially a nurse!!!! :)

The New Semester

Yesterday was officially the first day of the new semester. On Wednesday I had to attend this mandatory laboratory orientation, which was really quite pointless seeing as nothing has changed! Well, except for the fact that they are going to start charging us $25 if we have to redo a skill...just another way to nickel and dime us to death. We also got our health totes with our IV start kits and central line dressing change kits for our first skill in Advanced Skills. So yesterday I had my first two classes...Complex Health Alterations 1 (CHA1 as we call it) and Advanced Skills. I'm now in my 3rd semester of a 4-semester associate degree nursing program. This is the hardest semester out of all of them, so if I can pass this one, I'll be home free baby! Woot! There's 60 students left in my "group" out of 120 that started. It's that hard...yea. Unless you're a nursing student you never realize how difficult it really is. People laugh when you say you spend 40 hours a week studying and practicing new skills, but let me tell you, it's TRUE! Just ask my mom! :)) You spend so much time studying and doing homework and taking notes, and spend even more time practicing in the skills lab so you are confident when it comes time to actually do the skill on a real live person (unless the skill is an assessment which we practice on each other). I bust my ass working so hard at this and yet I see bimbos who can talk their way out of an apocalypse that pass with ease and it makes me so angry. Anyway, it's going to be a really hard semester...and LONG! On Mondays I have two classes- race, ethnic and diversity, and mental health...Tuesdays and Wednesdays are Intermediate Clinical Practice, which is 8 weeks of med-surg, 4 weeks "off," and 4 weeks psych rotation. and Thursdays is CHA1 then Advanced Skills. Thank God I have Friday, Saturday and Sunday to recover! :D My Mondays and Thursdays are 5 and 6 hours long, I only have a ten minute break between classes. Then clinicals for the first 8 weeks of the semester are from 3p to 9:30p...PM clinicals, YAY! No more silly o'clock wake up for me... until the last 4 weeks of the semester, then my clinicals are from 7a till 1:30p. Yea I know, complicated schedule! It's a wonder how I stay organized let alone anyone else I try explaining this all too. LOL. Anyway yesterday in Advanced Skills was pretty fun. We did blood draws and IV starts, so that was exciting although I already knew the skill pretty well, legally you can't do it as an LPN. I got my authorization to test the other day, now all I have to do is schedule my NCLEX-PN exam so I can get my LPN license! WOO HOO! :D It'll be a good thing to have in case I fail the rest of the RN program, lmao. Anyway I'm a little pressed for time and I'd love to stay and type all day, but I have to get back to my stress relief therapy...drawing! :D

I'm Not Ready!

Seven days left until the new semester begins...the time is rapidly winding down, and my mind is rapidly winding up, along with the anxiety and stress. That is how a new semester always seems to begin! I remember one and a half years ago when I first began the nursing program, I was so terrified that I almost dropped out before I even started! Thanks to my mom I didn't quit, but I must admit, I do think about quitting all the time. In my life I've had a lot of challenges and obstacles that I give credit to making me a stronger, more resilient individual, but when it comes to nursing school... I *HATE* it! Now don't get me wrong, I *LOVE* nursing, and there's nothing in this world I'd rather do than become a nurse...but DAMN! It's hard, stressful, time-consuming, discouraging, and often feels like torture. I never thought I would want and need to work so hard to reach a goal in my entire life. I don't know what keeps me going, but I do know that I have to give some credit to my parents, especially my mom who continues to support and encourage me. Before the start of every semester I get in this mentality where I try and analyze the situation and create a strategy on how to complete it successfully...how to conquer the new challenges and obstacles basically; and try to recall which strategies have been successful in the past, and which have not. What has me worried the most in this upcoming semester is that it is the hardest semester of nursing, so if I can make it through this semester, the last semester *should* be a breeze! Hard to believe I only have 1 year left until I'm an RN! I'm definitely looking forward to it. If I have to do much longer than that I'll keel over dead from stress! I suppose that's why they make it so unpleasant, so people will work their hardest not to fail! I think other college and universities should implement that strategy, because I know the University in Green Bay is nice and cushy, so people don't want to leave and enter the harsh reality many folks refer to as "the real world." Like one of my cousins for instance...She gets all this free money for school so she doesn't have to work, and she has no incentive to pick a degree and work towards it. Not until recently that is! For the past three years she has received a bunch of scholarships and grants from the government because her parents are in the poverty level (although they live better than me and my family do!)... so every couple semesters she switches her major, basically in an effort to extend her graduation date. She lives in the dorms (she gets free housing), free tuition and book money, and a LOT of extra play money! A prime example of how people work the system. Then there's people like me, whose parents don't make a lot but we're not considered poor... They can't afford my tuition and books (and neither can I!), and I don't qualify for grants...I've applied for scholarships but never seem to get them. No, instead I have to get unsubsidized student loans. I work my ass off and I have worked hard to achieve the one goal I have had for the past 5 years (since I graduated High School). *Sigh* I guess it will make my graduation day all the more sweeter! I get so mad at lazy unmotivated people who just work the system while the rest of us "middle-class folk" suffer and pay the price for those "abusers." And now that the economy has went down the tubes, the government is just beginning to do something about it...by putting rules in place to deter that type of behavior. During winter break us students got an email... apparently they have just implemented a rule saying those who receive financial aid, get their returns, and then drop classes will have to repay that portion. ABOUT FRICKEN TIME if you ask me! I see it very often...people will enroll in 15, 18 credits, get their financial aid, then drop a few classes and keep the extra change! Talk about crooked. People never cease to amaze me. Nobody wants to really work for anything anymore, everybody wants it handed to them on a silver platter. I wonder how people obtain such an entitlement attitude. *Rolls eyes* I suppose it makes them feel like they are special, more special than everybody else. Hate to break it to them, but we're all sorta equal! People want equality, yet some of them want equality with special considerations! Hate to [also] tell them, you can't have both! Well, let me step off my soap box now and get to my ramblings!

Can't believe only seven days left of winter break, how disappointing! It flew by incredibly fast and it wasn't very good either. I started feeling sick the first week of break, then it slowly, progressively got worse. A week ago, I started getting these bad headaches like sinus headaches, like my brain was going to explode inside my skull! It was awful! Then I developed this lump on my head, slightly off center to the bridge of my nose near the corner of my left eye. It got really bad, it was hard as a rock, very painful and there was so much pressure. I waited a week before finally going to the doctor because I had hopes that it would go away on its own, but no luck! I really wasn't too worried until I started getting some swollen lymph nodes in my jaw and neck and a low-grade fever. Anyway, I finally went to the docs and what an idiot! I always get charged a $100 copayment, and then I see the doc for about 5 minutes, she tells me what's wrong but does nothing, and sends me on my merry way. Turns out it was a pretty nasty sinus and ear infection, an obstructed eustachian tube, an obstructed tear duct, and an inflamed lacrimal gland! The doctor said, and I quote... "oh, don't worry, this will go away on its own in time, *but if it doesn't* come back in!" Then she sent me on my merry way! I could have told myself the same thing. I was pretty disappointed. My doctor's office used to be a really good one until the regular physician and physician's assistant left. Now they have all these foreign doctors who come in, or fresh-out-of-med-school doctors. Nobody seems to want to do anything about anything, then send you a gigantic ass bill. No wonder our health care system sucks! You know, I don't think America should get NHS, but I also believe health care is a right, not a privilege. Maybe once I'm a nurse I will be able to make a difference, or create positive change. One of my other goals! I guess some people only look to make a difference in their own lives, but me...I want to make a difference in the lives of many. I suppose that's what makes me unique! That's what I love about this country, we Americans are dreamers! Unlike the rest of the world, we not only reach for the stars, we find a way to make it a possibility-to touch them, to feel them, to experience them. :)

Oh, that reminds me! LOL Yesterday I hung out with one of my cousins, we went to this new Chinese place for lunch (which was absolutely terrible) then we went to see that new Sherlock Holmes movie. GREAT movie by the way! It had a really good mixture of drama, action/adventure, and humor. A must-see for everybody; although for those of you who are sensitive and easily embarrassed by sexual nature (yes, most of you Christians out there), you might find the movie a bit inappropriate... so I suggest you lighten up and still go see it! :D I've read the reviews, and I have heard a lot of people saying that there was no storyline, or that the storyline wasn't complex? They are dead wrong! It had a very interesting storyline in my opinion, and people who are *THAT* hypercritical need to get a life, because damn, if you have *THAT* much time to sit there and psychoanalyze character relationships, or pick apart the storyline, you need a life... Obviously criticizing the artwork of others (whether it be writing, movies, music) you are trying to compensate for a lack of personal skill in that particular area. Oops, here I thought I had stepped off my soap box...guess I stepped back on again! You can probably figure out by now I don't take criticism well, lmao. I do if it's actually constructive and logical... but that's highly unusual these days it seems. Not to mention people who criticize others don't seem to do it in a very respectful manner, which I dislike. I know respect is earned, but I do believe everybody should be given *SOME* degree of common respect, unless they prove to be an incompetent idiot or just plain arrogant! Anyway, it's high time I head out. Got a bit of cleaning I want to do before school begins again, and I have to start my pre-semester coursework which I've been sort of putting off for as long as possible! Until next time, folks...!

2010 Poem-Cracked Mirror

I look into the mirror, my reflection I do not see
The cracks create distortions of...a girl that isn’t me
I live inside a world that is littered with debris
While hanging in the balance...of hope and misery
Written by: Heidi (Galaxy Echo)

2010

“We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Some take us forward, they're called dreams.” It is strange why 2010 seems so different from the other New Years that I have experienced. It is significant, but I do not know why. It marks the start of a new decade, and some part of me deep down feels a hint of inspiration and hope in a world filled with pain, anger, hatred and sorrow. It was an average day today, and some vacation this turned out to be! I've been so busy that I'll be going back to college just to have a break! Yesterday I didn't do anything special...ran to the store, did some cleaning, made a mess in my room, went through my clothes to get rid of some for Good Will...had some in depth conversations with close friends and enjoyed the lack of chaos which I consider a normal part of my life! I have to admit, having good conversation with dear friends...reminiscing on the past and discussing the future can beat any party celebration or firework show. Even if the memories of the past are bad. My best friend and I had the best conversation earlier, talking about the "good ole days" :P yea yea I know!!!! It reminded me of a quote I once heard; "learning is the consequence of experience." That is probably the quote that defines my life! It's the reason we study history, so we aren't doomed to repeat it. My New Years resolution is to continue succeeding in my goal to become a registered nurse. I pray that the year will be easy, uneventful and free of most obstacles; however, I don't foresee *THAT* happening! I don't think life was meant to be easy, and I think when we want something extremely bad, you're always going to have hell trying to get it because it's the fight that we must endure, that strengthens us and makes us appreciate the things we want. I guess what I mean is, it's not the destination that's important, it's the journey we take to get there that is. It makes sense to me OK! Anyway, I just hope this year is better than the last! Happy New Year everybody :)

Two Words: "I PASSED!"

Man what a fricken relief! I had my last final exam today, health alterations, one of the hardest classes in the nursing program and I got an 87% on the final and passed the class with an 83%. I am SOOO happy, because my GPA is still above a 3.0! Woot! All my hard work has paid off, because hopefully sometime this week or next week I will be receiving my Practical Nursing Diploma! Now I just have one year left of the RN program, with next semester being the most difficult of them all. But hell, I will soon have my practical nursing diploma and hopefully I will get my license, and that in itself is the biggest goal I've accomplished in my lifetime so I can truly say I am very proud of myself. And I know my parents and family and friends are proud as well, which makes it all the more better! What an excellent way to start the holiday vacation, and a great Christmas present to myself!
You know, for the past few years my family hasn't been very festive. Especially me, seeing as my best friend/cousin has been in the army for the past four years...it hasn't been the same without him, and although he won't be home for Christmas this year, I can truly say I am content with the way this year will have ended. Anyways, for the past few years we have not put up a Christmas tree, but this year my mom surprised me yesterday when she bought me a 6.5 foot white fake tree (her and I are both allergic to pine so we have to have a fake tree!) no mess either, apart from all the little fake needles falling all over the place lmao. I put it up and decorated it yesterday and I have to admit, it turned out damn beautiful!


See, told you it was pretty! I tried taking a picture of it in the dark but that was freakishly like something out of a movie based on ghost recon or something... talk about major blurry infrared, only in a very haunting way! I still can't believe the semester is finally over, and I passed! To be honest, I really wasn't sure whether I would pass Advanced Anatomy and Physiology and Health Alterations! We have to get an 80% in everything, and in the science classes an 80% is a B but in the nursing core classes an 80% is a C. Really stupid if you ask me, they should have just kept an 80% a B like in a "NORMAL" grading scale! But whatever, I passed and that's all that matters to me! So I can go into winter break with a smile on my face and a dump truck load of stress lifted off my shoulders! :D Best way to go into a holiday is on a positive note! Best way to leave a semester as well. Now it's time to sit back, relax, and enjoy my time off!

Nearing The End

Damn, I can't believe how long it has been since I had time to sit down and blog. How depressing! The semester has been winding down very rapidly. We had a blizzard on Wednesday, and then had clinicals Thursday. Now picture this...I do clinicals at a hospital on the orthopedic medical-surgical floor...now imagine working on an ortho floor during the season with the most car accidents and broken bones! It was insane yesterday, jam-packed full of patients. Had the walls been made of pine, patients would have been crawling out of the woodwork! Hahaha, lame, I know. Sort of like the sad chemistry quote. "The name's Bond...Ionic Bond...taken, not shared!" LOL For those of you who understand a little basic chemistry, you will understand that one. It's hard to believe how fast this semester went by. I was laying in bed last night, of course with the usual insomnia striking once again, I couldn't stop thinking about how it seems like we just started the health alterations class yesterday! And now we are taking our final exam in two weeks! EEKS! We have our final lecture exam in that class this coming Wednesday. Tomorrow in advanced anatomy and physiology (AAP) we have our last lab exam, then next Saturday we have our last lecture exam. Tomorrow my group presents our group project, which is our equivalent of a final exam for that class which is nice because it's hard to fail.

These past couple weeks have been so busy I don't know how I haven't died from stress overload. Hey, that should be a nursing diagnosis! Last week I had to write three papers, one for my AAP group project, one for my OR experience, and one called the Biopsychosocial needs assessment. That last one was 27 pages after all was said and done. Last week Thursday and Friday I did a two day rotation in the OR, so that was an incredible experience. I got to see an inguinal hernia repair with mesh, a craniotomy, and a total abdominal hysterectomy with staging. That last one was really intense. It's kind of funny because throughout this semester of clinicals, I don't remember many of my patient's names, but my last OR patient, I will remember her. She's one of the kindest ladies I have ever met, and I pray that she will fully recover and live a long, healthy and happy life. It's those few patients you have that make all the stress of nursing school worth while. I really wish I knew how things turned out for her.

There is one thing I will not miss after my med-surg clinicals are done...and that is walking half a mile to the hospital at 6AM in subzero temps. I was smart this morning though, I brought along hand warmers; however, scrubs are not very warm at all, so by the time I got to the hospital my legs were pale and numb! It took till the end of the shift for me to regain full sensations in them, and by then it was pointless because I had to walk all the way back to my car, so they were numb all over again! Thank God we have our last clinical next Thursday. I can't wait for winter break. It is long overdue! And after clinical next Thursday, I get fit tested for the N95 respirator mask, which is for protection against airborne viruses. Fun!

Well, not much left to say, getting tired after the busy day we had today so I guess it's nap time! Chao.

"Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it."

"There cannot be a stressful crisis next week. My schedule is already full."

This quote pretty much says it all! Thank God for little miracles though, because today class was canceled, and our med/surg/OR clinicals don't start until October 22nd, so we have Thursday and Friday off as well. Woo Hoo! I can't begin to tell you how pleased I am, because it is a much needed break. Our health promotions final exam is this coming Monday, so I've been studying all day for that. A few friends and I are having a study group tomorrow, and I am sure that will be helpful for each of us. I'm not big into the group study setting, but it's something I tend not to do very often, so I figure, what could be the harm in going? In between though, I have to also study for my Adv. AnP lecture exam which is this Saturday, and prepare for the start of my new theory class and clinical. So much to do, so little time! My cousin is home on leave, he just got back from Iraq in mid-September, so him and I are going to see the movie "Where The Wild Things Are" this Saturday evening. I'm looking forward to it; it looks like an adorable movie! I also want to see that movie Surrogates, and Gamer one of these days as well. I don't go to see movies very often. In fact, the last movie I seen in theatre was Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen! But that's because I am a huge nerd and I absolutely LOVE Transformers! I'm 22, but I am such a kid at heart. Not much else has been going on here. We got our first heavy snow of the season two days ago, and it snowed like hell. It didn't stay on the ground very long though, thank God... so far I should say! I enjoyed doing some photography over the past week. I really enjoy it, especially with my mom's new camera (even though I pretty much steal it all the time, hehe). Here they are, enjoy!

Today is officially our last day of OB clinicals. We just go in for our student-instructor evaluation, but I already know I got an "A." It really flew by fast, and I went into the clinical thinking this would be an area I wouldn't like, but I was wrong. In fact, I really grew to love it and I could definitely picture myself becoming an OB nurse! Yesterday was our last day on the unit and boy did we go out with a bang. 2 C-sections, 2 labor and deliveries and 4 inductions. We were booming. That was all in between the fire alarm, the staff shortage and a very interesting delivery. It was also a day to remember in the record book...I got sprayed with cord blood, marking the last bodily fluid I had to be contaminated with. I got to give lots of shots too, and that is always fun! We start our Med/Surg and OR clinicals October 22nd, so next week we have Thursday and Friday off, woo hoo. A much deserved and needed break. It's going to be a busy weekend. My cousin is coming home on leave today, he's flying in at 4:30pm from Alaska. He just got back from his tour of duty in Iraq mid-September. Saturday I have an Adv.AnP lab exam, Monday I have my last health promotions theory lecture exam, Wednesday is our promo final exam, and next Saturday is our second Adv. AnP lecture exam. That's not counting all the homework that's due in between! For Adv. AnP our lab exams are usually tested on the cadavers and models. Seeing as not many of us have time to attend open lab, they decided to FINALLY allow us to photograph the models, but of course not the cadavers due to privacy laws.








Here's a couple pictures of the models. The cost runs between $2-8,000 per model, depending on the detail and the manufacturer! And of course that comes from our tuition, so you can see why college costs a lot, lol. Speaking of outrageous, the weathermen are predicting the first snow flakes for Monday! Snow, ALREADY! Augh! Where's fall? It must have been in one hell of a hurry, because it came, stopped, and went all in one day! I suppose, I must be heading out now, lots to do, little time to do it.

No rest for the weary...unless you have a fever or cough!

WOW has it ever been a busy day, week, AND month! I can't even remember the last time I blogged. We started our OB clinicals last week. It started out very busy. On Thursday, we took a tour of the facility, did our orientation packet (which involved a 57 question orientation test) and then met with the staff on the OB unit. On Friday, we met at 6:45am, got our patient information, then went to work. My day started immediately because my patient was due for a C-Section by 7am. It was an incredible experience, from scrubbing and gowning up, to holding the newborn in my arms after the doctor took him out of his mother's abdomen. Although it was kind of disgusting, it was also incredible. Seeing the father cry as I showed him his new baby boy, cleaned then assessed him was a flood of emotions. I have seen a baby delivered vaginally before, but never through C-section, and never as a student nurse. This time, I was involved, and it felt great to help bring a new life into this world. On Monday, we had our 2nd health promotion exam, another one down, and three more to go! I passed the first two, and I'm doing pretty good in the class. Hanging onto an A, so I'm happy! I'm doing good in clinicals too. The only class I have to study harder for is Adv. Anatomy and Physiology, which I have a C in so far, and we have to pass it with a B. It's a very hard class!

Today would have marked the 2nd week of our OB clinicals, but unfortunately, me, two other girls, and my clinical instructor are ill, so clinicals were canceled for today, and tomorrow is our college system's staff meeting, so no class either! I felt pretty crappy earlier, but this afternoon I felt a little better. My dad bought me a brand new saddle the other day, and I was so eager to try it out! Sooo, I worked with my mare today, tried the new saddle, and rode for a while. It's been quite a journey for me and my horse, ever since the incident last year. But we are both earning each others' trust again, and both becoming more confident. With my busy schedule I don't ride as often is I would like, or should, but this week I have managed to ride 4 days! Today, I got her into a canter. I HATE cantering too, mind you! I really like my new saddle. I didn't have to punch any holes in it because the stirrups are perfect length, the seat is comfy, and my mare makes it look very flashy! And it looks great on her as well. Here's some new pictures I took earlier of my new saddle. And the best part...it matches my bridle! *grinz*.



I hope the weather is nice tomorrow, there's a lot I want to do, granted this cold or flu or whatever I have doesn't wear me down much more than it already has. I also have a lot of studying to do. We have an Adv. AnP quiz on Saturday, then Monday we have our 3rd health promotion exam! Saturday evening is the barn dance, and I am very excited about that. I haven't had much time or energy to do anything non-school related, so it's going to be a nice break from living, eating, and breathing nursing. I am happy the 2nd season of Fringe has started, the 2nd new episode airs tonight! I should probably get going and do some studying before I get too engrossed in the visual-auditory stimulation of the television! Take care everybody!

Thank God for small favors!

It's been a hell of a busy start to the semester, even though we're already like three weeks in! It's so hectic, I mean we just go with the flow because our schedules can change from one minute to the other. Some days I don't know whether I'm coming or going, but so far I haven't lost myself...yet! On Wednesday we had our first exam in health promotions, which is a theory lecture class. Mostly it's focused around OB and Peds care. It's not very difficult, it's just a lot of information to cram in our brains in such a short period of time. The way second semester works is our semester is broken down into halves, and thirds. The first nine weeks of our semester we have one theory class, and the second nine weeks of the semester we switch to the opposite theory. The clinicals run concurrent with a specific theory class. So we have Health Promotions with Clinical Care Across the Lifespan, then Health Alterations runs along with Med/Surg and OR. But then the Lifespan Clinical is broken in half... Community Clinicals and OB/Peds. The last third of the semester is the med/surg and OR clinicals. Yea it's not as complicated as it sounds! I'm in the promo/lifespan right now, and lucky enough to have the community clinicals first. So far I've been to a clinic, cardiac rehab, a neighborhood resource center (where my group provided foot care to the people in the community), and the GI lab. Yea, those last two I didn't find very attracting either. Normally I would have Adv. AnP on Saturdays but because of Labor day, we have today AND Monday off, WOO HOO! Thank God for that because yesterday after I got home from my clinical I was sick. I feel good now... probably because I slept for like 14 hours! Looks like it'll be a nice weekend too. I don't have very much homework to do because I worked ahead, so I just have two assignments to do, then I can be lazy for the rest of my weekend! YAY! And my cousin is coming over so her and I will probably make some mischief. I think my county's fair is coming to town this weekend too if it hasn't already. We'll most likely go to that as well. My dad took me to the other county fair last week, but it was small and very uneventful. Anywho, that's about all the new things that been going on here, and I'm getting tired again so I'm going to go relinquish my consciousness for a few more hours.

Interesting Orientation Topics

Today was the first day of our 2nd semester nursing clinicals. The first 8 weeks of the semester I will be doing rounds in OB at two of the four city hospitals here. Now, everyone knows how boring orientations are, especially seeing as we were orientating to all four of the area hospitals, which two are sister hospitals. And any who, most hospitals have the same rules and regulations. But what the whole lot of us found interesting was the lengthy discussion on how to deal with anxious/agitated, and ARMED visitors/patients. Apparently recently, (most likely due to the poor economy), there has been an increase in the amount of armed people entering the local hospitals, not to mention the increase in car break-in's, so there was a whole two hour discussion on those two topics (I think it was because the hospital admin have been watching a bit too much of the movie John Q, you know, the movie about the angry father who takes the ER by force to get a new heart for his boy)... So yea, after that discussion, I sure can't wait to start my rotations! I can't believe summer vacation is gone. *sigh* I started my first class last Saturday...that's right...Saturday...a weekend class! YUCK! It is advanced anatomy and physiology, yay! (not). I used to love anatomy and physiology, until the incident with the broken cadavers tub...to make a long story short, the cadavers are in a big steel tub filled with preservative liquids. They lay on this platform that is raised up and lowered down by levers at each end of the tub. A year ago, during one lab period, I was one of the lucky people to help lift the cadaver out of the tub, only thing was they hadn't fixed the lever system yet! And I pushed down as hard as I could to raise my end of the platform, but something snapped and SPLASH! Yup, it was nasty. And yup, I did puke. Actually that's not the reason I stopped liking anatomy and physiology. It was the teacher I had during that semester who turned an interesting, enjoyable topic into a meticulous, uninteresting and overwhelming subject. Anyways, we finish our clinical orientation tomorrow. Seeing as we're into hospital clinicals now, our schedules aren't ever set in stone and they already told us most of the time we will find out the night before or the morning of our clinical shifts our patient assignments. Good thing I don't have a life. I didn't want one anyways, ya know?

I really am looking forward to clinicals semester though. From what I've heard, this is probably the most fun and interesting semester out of the four nursing semesters. Last semester our clinicals were at a nursing home which is stuff I've been doing as a CNA (certified nursing assistant) for years. I also worked at a hospital on the med/surg, ICU, and OB unit for a year, so I have my feet wet which helps, seeing as this semester is OB and med/surg and OR. I'm really really looking forward to working in the OR. That's gonna be a sweet rotation! I have also heard the instructors get a little more supportive as you continue on through the program. First semester is the 2nd hardest semester of nursing, and third semester is the hardest. They treat you like crap first semester to weed out the weak people, i.e. the ones the instructors think won't make it. The only reason third semester is the hardest is because of advanced nursing skills. I'm a little nervous about that, but after this semester is over with, I'm taking the LPN boards. After that when I get my LPN, I'm debating whether to finish my RN degree in the full-time track, or drop down to part-time. It's a really tough decision, but I'll deal with it when I get there.

I think the hardest thing this semester, besides advanced anatomy and physiology (A AnP) is gonna be the early mornings! I am so NOT a morning person, early bird, whatever. I am definitely a night owl, for as long as I can remember. And all my classes this semester are, you guessed it, MORNING CLASSES! EEKS! I'll slowly get used to it... probably by the time the semester ends! We have a quiz this Saturday, for A AnP, on cells and heredity. I hate that topic. Cells bore me and heredity isn't something I'm very interested in. I've always been interested in bones and muscles though, those are my favorite categories in anatomy and physiology. Someday maybe I'll become a cardiac intensive care unit nurse. That would be my dream job! That, or working in the ER. I can tell you this, if there would have been a high demand for EMT's or Paramedics, that's the field I would have went into. When I was 13, the local rescue squad had a Junior EMS program that offered basic first aid and life support training. I was part of it until the program closed, which was when I was about 16. It was after that program that I knew for sure I wanted to become a nurse. That's probably one of the only things in my life I have ever been 100% sure of, is being a nurse, well, working in the health care field I should say. I guess some people (like me) are lucky enough to know 100% sure what they are meant to do in life. I know this is what I'm meant to do, and it's what I want to do more than anything I've ever wanted to do.

I remember when I was in 8th grade we had to take this test and it determined which jobs we would be most successful at. I remember mine was nothing even anywhere near nursing. I was really upset about it, but then I realized it was just a stupid test. Counselors in middle and high school aren't very supportive of people. At least people in my situation, you know, average. I come from a middle-class family, and I didn't get the best of grades in school. I was on the honor roll in high school for only one semester! My GPA in high school averaged 2.6, and I didn't think at the time how important that would actually be, until I got into college. But you know what, I busted my butt studying in college, because people treated me as if I had potential, unlike grade, middle, and high school. It seems like that's a big flaw in our whats it called, primary and secondary school systems? They weed out the smart people and treat them different than the ones who struggle. I remember this psych study we reviewed in one of my psych classes. They took a class of students and treated the "average" students like they were prodigies, and the students grades improved! Because they were treated like they were smart. I do believe everyone has a lot of potential but we need to be nurtured in a way to encourage its expression. I know it's true because I went from being a high school student with a 2.6 GPA to a college student with a 3.5 GPA! Well, I could ramble on and on and on, which I really would like to do, but I must get going, I have to go study and do some cleaning. Until next time!

County Fair

Well, here we are again. The weekend is here at last. Tonight was awesome! Me, my dad, and his friend Bob went to the county fair that's in town this week. It beats going to Polka Days and listening to horrible music and walking between staggering drunks. I love the fair, despite the excessive pricing of things. The animals and flashing lights are satisfying enough. It was really great, we all had a wonderful time. And something sort of funny happened. You know how carnie's try to get you to play their games? Well, this one man was standing at his tent and it was the game where you throw baseballs and try to break glass bottles by knocking them off shelves. Well... the man was throwing balls and missing the bottles... then we walked past and he said "how about you try your luck?" and without thinking, I blurted out "you can't even hit them bottles, but you expect us to?" and my dad and Bob burst out laughing. I wasn't even trying to be comical, it just popped in my head and out of my mouth! So that was an interesting little event. Then we got home about twenty minutes ago, and we weren't home more than five minutes when it began storming and pouring! You know those silly weathermen, they can't predict rain even if it's pissing down on them. They had t-storms in the forecast the past FOUR DAYS and we didn't get ANY! Until now that is... they didn't even say it was supposed to storm tonight, they said it was supposed to about six hours ago. But what can I say, weathermen are humans too (I think)! I'm glad it's finally raining real rain, you know, more than a hock of spit. The corn is so stressed right now, reaching its little leaves as far in the air as it can.

8 days until my birthday, woo hoo! I don't even know why I still look forward to my birthday, because I'm turning 22. I guess after 21 it's not really exciting anymore. I can smoke, drink, have sex, get married, sign contracts, that's about all most people care about. But I suppose it's still great to celebrate the day the world was blessed with my presence! This summer flew by so fast, I'm really disappointed. There was a lot I wanted to do, but just couldn't. And this is my last summer off until retirement. *sigh* Plus college will be starting soon, and I'm really not looking forward to THAT. I am however, looking forward to graduation. Only 1.5 more years to go! WOO HOO! After I finish this coming semester I can take the LPN boards, and once I'm an LPN I can really be proud, because that in itself is quite an accomplishment. And a year after that, I will go from student nurse to registered nurse. YIPPIE!!! Well, as Porky Pig would say, th-th-th-tha-thaa-that's all folks!

Wisconsin on CNN

(CNN) -- The off-duty firefighters who rushed into a burning SUV and cut a 4-year-old boy out of the seatbelt saved his life, the boy's doctor said during a press conference Tuesday in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Read Article Here

Another Day, Another Dollar

Well it's still busy 'round here, the horses alone are enough to keep me occupied! We built the new round pen yesterday, it looks awesome. Then a friend of the family who I swear is the horse whisperer, worked with Surri, Sassy, and Dollar. His 2 youngest kids rode Sassy (she's the pony). It was a pretty warm day yesterday, so that didn't make digging post holes any fun, not that it is fun to begin with! We decided to move around the horses again, trying to find a balance so they wouldn't all kill each other. I had to laugh, because a friend of mine assumed that all domesticated animals get along with each other... Talk about a real air head. She's a big animal lover, but very ignorant. I love animals too, a lot, but at least I never forget what they are-animals! Nature has it so animals who survive in social groups establish a pecking order-dominance and submission. I get so annoyed when people who don't know much about animals (especially horses) think it's terrible when they hear that the horses got into a skirmish. Then they ask why you didn't step in to break up the fight!!!! Yea, would you run in front of a 1000 pound vehicle with a mind of its own? Uh, no, not likely! Bah, anyways, the three mares are together now, and the gelding is in a pen on his own for a short while until they all calm down and can be united into one pasture. Anywho, here are a couple pictures from yesterday.

The Mares (from left to right) Blue, Surri, Sassy












The Gelding, named Dollar












Today was pretty boring, it sprinkled out earlier around dinner time for a few minutes, but it just got done raining pretty good now, thank God because we needed it desperately. The fields are dry and everything's turning to dust! I didn't do too much today either, some cleaning, ran to the storage shed to get more of my junk, then my dad grilled out and had a few of his buddies over. It was nice, grilling out, sitting at the picnic table with a great view of the horses. A picture perfect moment.

The puppy is getting antsy, up down, up down, good thing I can't sleep as it is! There's so much to do and only a month left of summer vacation before college starts back up. Then it's back to the Nursing Nazi's Boot Camp for Health Science Students, as we call it. Nursing is a great profession, all you have to do is survive college. After I finish this coming semester, I can take the LPN boards. Woo Hoo! Then after that, just one year left and I'll have my RN. I can't tell you how I anticipate that day when I go from Student Nurse, to Registered Nurse! Hopefully there won't be too many more obstacles getting in my way from here on out. My best friend just graduated in May with a bachelors in economics, but seeing as her parents have sheltered her all her life, she never bothered to get a job, until now that is. And, instead of getting a job in the field she just spent 4 years studying, she decided to get a crap job, making 8 bucks an hour putting bottles in boxes. But hey, whatever works for her, I'm sure with parents like hers, she won't have to work very hard until the day they die. I wonder if people were just not meant to be understood...Well, it's nearly 5am and I got a lot to do today, so I best lay down and get a few hours shut-eye.
~Good bye and Godspeed

P.S. This morning's sunrise:

Hope

Have you ever wondered if you were where you are supposed to be in life? Is there an actual direction we are supposed to take, and a destination we are supposed to reach? How will we know when we have arrived? Seems like a pretty deep night tonight. I don't feel like myself. Usually I am a person full of hope and faith, but not tonight. It seems bitter, full of despair and disappointment, with an absence of self-confidence. I just got done talking to my best friend, and this may sound crazy, but her and I have been best friends for a LONG time, and it seems like the past few years, her and I have been alternating. What I mean by that is, when something bad happens to her, I can bet that something bad is about to happen to me, like fate has it that we are taking turns. But now...now it seems like we are both in sync with these concurrent negative events, like some evil force is working against us to see how much we can take until we crack. We haven't yet, but sometimes I do wonder if it is all really just a matter of time. But then something good happens that brings back a bit of hope, but all hope does is delay the inevitable disappointment. Right now I wonder which is better, to have your hopes constantly crushed, or to live in a world full of pointlessness and despair. Is despair when we cease to hope any longer? Is there really more to life, or is life truly just about existing? Something that we must complicate to appreciate its simplicity?

Despair

Despair is like a monster inside you. It eats you from the inside out. It chews your guts, gnaws at your soul, and bores holes in your heart. It makes you feel hollow. Empty. Alone. Fearful.

You don't have to know a soldier to be thankful for what they have done, and what they are still doing

You just have to take a look around this great country of ours...

God Bless America, our soldiers...every American. We are blessed to live in such a great country.

I am proud to say the following friends and family who are serving in the middle-east do so with courage and honor. May God look over them, especially during their time of service, and bring them home safely.

Happy Independence Day America!

God Bless America, and the right to life, liberty, and equality, the freedoms every person should be entitled to; a belief in which this country was founded on.