Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Looking Through Dirty Glass
I can't even begin to explain in words the chaos that has taken over my life...which I have spent so hard trying to tame the wild events that seemed to wrap me in a tight blanket, suffocating me. I don't know what's going on but I don't feel like I'm me lately. It's like I'm slipping into a dark void of misunderstanding and disorientation. It sort of feels like astral projection...where I'm watching myself from above, but also at the same time, looking through my eyes which seem to be distorted views of the world surpassing me at hyper-speed.
I have my first final exam today...and it's 12:28 AM. Luckily it's not like I have to get up early, seeing as my written communications instructor isn't having class until Thursday. And the only thing we're doing on Thursday is handing in our last papers. I'm not sure whether it is the extreme fatigue that is driving me closer to the edge of insanity, or whether it is an actual biological process innate in my genes that are finally being expressed. The Epigenetic Theory states that biology and the environment interact to create personality/behavior...I wonder if my traits are being pushed out, or maybe it's the stress and anxiety speaking! Well I'm tired, going to try that thing called sleep. I don't want to end up typing in my sleep and regretting what I typed!