Monday, April 20, 2009

Really Freakin' Early O'Clock

It's 3:12 AM right now, I just finished up the rough draft of my persuasive-research paper. Rough draft my ass actually, he just calls it a rough draft even though basically it is our final draft. I guess he needed a way for us to get 100 more points so he covers his ass in the competencies he's supposed to be teaching. My paper is on active euthanasia, and it is pro-support. It turned out really well too I might add, but I always do write well anyways. I guess I write so good because I suck at everything else. I pretty much suck at life! I'm kind of just spaced out now, my brain is a-bla. I'm not tired enough to sleep but I'm not awake enough to stay up until class, which I will have to wake up for in a few hours anyways, so not sure if I should even bother laying down for a few or stay up for a few and sit here being bored and doing nothing. I have a load of laundry in the wash but I'm too lazy to bother throwing it in the dryer now. The puppy is being a little bastard tonight doing the usual up-down-up-down dance. I don't know why either, he went potty an hour ago. I guess that's just how puppies are. The problem is he hears people rummaging downstairs and it gets him all antsy. Well, just took care of all that. Put the laundry in the dryer, I went pee and so did the puppy! You know, I wonder why boy dogs lift up their leg to pee. Is that like the equivalent of guys standing up to pee? Hmmm. Anyways, that sleep option is out of the question now. Figures too. Not really, it actually isn't the least bit surprising. My dad is awake, and if he can't sleep, that means nobody else can either, except mom because she could sleep through the next world war. So dad let Stanley, our other dog, into the living room, which is what Tucker, the puppy heard, and now he's all hyper and oh my god it is 3:25 AM and how am I going to be functional during class in the morning!

It's pissing down rain right now, and I can't believe how cold it got. Almost May and the forecast is calling for snow and rain mix for the next two days, YUCK!

Rain and Snow Mixed, High 42°, Low 33°
Rain mixing with snow; cool

Rain and Snow Mixed, High 41°, Low 34°
Snow mixing with rain; chilly for late April

Typical's like mother nature teases us up here...She'll give us a few days of absolutely gorgeous weather to get our hopes up, then sends us rain and snow! It really raises hell on the animals too, especially the calves. We already lost one calf and I'm 99.5% sure the other one is going to die very soon too. It's so incredibly sad to see baby animals die, they are so fragile and once they get sick it's almost impossible to nurse them back to health. That's what sucks the most about living on a farm. I wish I could do more for them, it just breaks my heart. Working in the health care field you see a lot of that...suffering I mean. And a lot of hopelessness. There are the good moments and the bad. I know that's the reason I lost my faith...a big reason anyways, not the only reason. When you see so many bad things in your life, there's only so much you can explain away with that stupid ever-so-often "god has another plan..." bullshit. Or "the lord works in mysterious ways." All I can say is, if you have faith, good for you, but some of us don't need to believe in the fictional word to have meaning in life. I almost died once, and I'll tell you this... You know what happens when you die? Nothing...You die and you get buried six feet under. That's all. Sorry, but it's the truth. The truth does hurt, especially when you hope for something so hard and you don't get it. It's a real kick in the gut. Ah, the joys of living in reality, rather than fantasy. I suppose, I should head to bed and try to get a few hours of sleep, maybe I will if I'm lucky! I have to pick out what I want to wear tomorrow, that way when I wake up in the morning I don't sit there for an hour deciding what to wear and try on all my shirts until I run out of time and am forced to wear the last thing I try on.
~Good night and Godspeed

No comments: